Surfing Badly Still Counts As Surfing

+ 10 things that help with the discomfort of change

Remember when I said I was excited about “stepping outside of my comfort zone” last week?

I take it back.

The excitement has passed. It has been replaced with irritation. The veil of novelty has lifted, and I am UNCOMFORTABLE. It has nothing to do with the leaky fridge in the apartment we just moved into last weekend. Or the miniscule two-in-one washer and dryer that doesn’t dry, or spin when it doesn’t feel like it. It has nothing to do with the shower that inexplicably squirts out boiling water while I’m trying to wash my hair. It has nothing to do with the gas stove I thought was broken. Turns out the problem is me. Apparently I don’t know how to turn on a gas stove. What’s the recycling protocol in London? I don’t know. Have I figured out how to open a bank account yet? No. What’s the healthcare situation? Beats me. All I know is that sanitary pads are really expensive here and I’m going to need someone to ship me a Costco-sized pack from Canada¹.

I don’t have any obsessions for you this week. All I’ve got is my discomfort.

My friend and I have this saying when we’re going through a challenging time: ride the wave. We didn’t invent the expression, but it’s a good one. It’s a reminder that everything is temporary. Waves, regardless of their size, eventually dissipate. So pick up your surfboard and ride them as best as you can, even if that means paddling on your stomach. 

I’ve ridden massive waves before. Waves I thought might engulf me. But I made it to the shore every single time. In the grand scheme of things, fussy washing machines and recycling procedures aren’t a big deal. Bleeding through my sheets and staining my new mattress within 48 hours? Whatever. They’re ripples. They’re nothing. So why am I mad? Why am I having tantrums? Why can’t I keep it together?

Because I’m exhausted. Because big life changes take time getting used to. Because everything is a lot right now, even the small, basic stuff. 

Today is Friday and I’m feeling better. I’m in a better mood, and it feels nice. I rode the mini waves as best as I could. I’ve been thinking about all the things I did or noticed this week that helped, so I made a list that I will now share with you.

1. Never underestimate the power of a shower. You’ll still feel like crap after, but at least your hair will be clean for the first time in days and that has to count for something.

2. Never underestimate the relief of your period. Now you know (partly) why you’ve acted like a rabies-infected animal all week.

3. Never underestimate the restorative effects of going to bed at 8:30 PM. Chances are you’ll feel better after ten hours of sleep.

4. Never underestimate focusing on the present. Leaving your phone in another room while you read in bed with your kid will make you forget about your worries.

5. Never underestimate the satisfaction of eating chocolate on white bed sheets. Sometimes this is what living dangerously looks like and it’s nice to feel like a rebel.

6. Never underestimate buying a bean bag off Facebook Marketplace. It takes up too much space in your living room and you will eventually regret it, but for the moment, you need that fun in your life.

7. Never underestimate the uplifting power of a surprise. Like when your cousin sends roses and Scottish shortbread to your new apartment without knowing you’ve had a bad day.

8. Never underestimate the comedy of everyday life. Like when you’re lying in bed at night and you hear someone bursting into song below your window. “Good for him,” you say. But then someone feeling differently yells “Shut the fuck up man!” and it makes you laugh out loud.

9. Never underestimate the distraction of your favourite reality TV show. Khloé’s “fear of whales” storyline of The Kardashians season 4 premiere is the kind of drama you need in your life.

10. Never forget you’re a badass surfer. You will always make it back to the shore, even when you fall into the water.

1. That’ll be Always Ultra Secure Ultra Overnight 12h Protection in size 5 with wings, please.