Silk Pyjamas and Turbans 2.0
Ho! Ho! Ho! An analysis of my favourite Christmas movies featuring throbbing root chakras and voyeurism.
I called one of my friends the other day to inquire about her favourite Christmas movies.
“The Family Stone,” she answered without hesitation. “Oh, and The Family Man.”
“Family Man…” I replied. “Isn’t that the one with Nicolas Cage?”
“Yes. It’s so good.” Nic Cage… I thought. Nic Cage… Isn’t there a meme on the internet about Nic Cage? Something about people not liking him? I would have to research that later1. “I also watch Die Hard every year,” she continued. “I don’t care what others say. It’s a Christmas movie in my book.”
“YES! Totally a Christmas movie.”
We have a rule in our family about not watching Christmas movies or listening to Christmas music before December 1st. I don’t know why we decided this. When I asked my husband why we couldn’t embrace the Holidays like a French Canadian Mariah Carey, he said it was about us “living in the present.” Apparently we must endure cold and grey November so we can properly savour the magic of December.
We broke our “No Christmas Movies in November” rule when our son fell ill with a fever and stayed several days home from school. As soon as I took his temperature and confirmed that he was indeed sick, the first thing that came out of my mouth was “Veux-tu regarder un film de Noël?”
“Oui Maman,” my son replied, his eyes glossed over and small. I looked over to my husband and mouthed “IT’S HAPPENING.” The present moment called for a special treat.
One thing led to another and we ended up watching Arthur Christmas, Home Alone, Home Alone 2, The Santa Clause and Jingle All the Way (the one with Arnold Schwarzenegger) within a short amount of time. Thankfully, my son is feeling better. His bout of fever, however, had me thinking about Christmas movies and why I connect to some more than others. And then it hit me.
It all comes down to obsessions.
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
I watch Christmas Vacation every year. Even though I know exactly what to expect because I’ve seen this movie countless times, I still HOWL at the squirrel scene. The chaos caused by the squirrel—Clark Griswold’s mother fainting, Clark running all over the house with the rodent on his back, the dog chasing after the terrified family—works my abs in ways I never thought possible. The movie also does a great job at depicting how intense and stressful the holidays can be with family coming into town and old dynamics resurfacing again.
(We’re flying back home for a brief Christmas trip in a couple of weeks. This will be our first time back in Canada since moving to London. I sincerely hope it will be chaotic, because I have a script idea and I need to work out some details. I need everyone to be on their worst behaviour. I’ll definitely be on my worst behaviour with the stress of Holiday travel and jet lag, so fingers crossed my loved ones give me the gift that keeps on giving: character development and plot points.)
MY FAVOURITE SCENE in Christmas Vacation is when Clark Griswold gets stuck in the attic. If you’ve been reading this newsletter for a while, you know how obsessed I am with nostalgia and all things vintage. When Clark realizes he’ll have to wait until his family comes back from shopping to be let out, he opens up a trunk to find clothing that will keep him warm until such time. He finds a fur coat, pink gloves and a vintage turquoise turban. I would dress like that every day if I could, but apparently I can’t seem to break free from my goblin era. After that sequence, Clark sets up a projector to watch old home movies with tears in his eyes. That scene is the essence of nostalgia. All I want for Christmas is to cry while looking at baby videos of my son with a vintage turban on my head.
Home Alone (1990)
Some people like Home Alone because of the battle scene in Act III, aka Kevin setting traps for Harry and Marv, the Wet Bandits. I hate that sequence for the same reason I hate watching prank and accident videos on Youtube or any show similar to America’s Funniest Home Videos. When I see someone get hurt, I hurt. I feel other people’s pain, specifically in my… let’s call it the root chakra. So when I see Joe Pesci falling down stairs head first, my chakra throbs. My jaw tenses up as I wonder whether or not Joe Pesci has broken his neck. The nail in foot scene? I’m ill. According to a quick Google search, the root chakra is “responsible for your sense of safety and security on this earthly journey.” That explains it.
So if I’m not a fan of the main event, why do I like Home Alone?
It’s the house. I’m fascinated by the house. Having grown up in a bungalow, I’ve always been interested in big houses. What? You sleep on the second floor? You have a second living room with no TV? It blows my mind. I’ve lived in apartments since moving out of my parents’ home and it suits my lifestyle, budget and lack of manual skills. I’m not interested in performing any kind of maintenance work: shovelling snow off my driveway, cleaning gutters, tending to a yard and other tasks I should be doing instead of enjoying life on weekends. Descaling my kettle is as far as I’m willing to go.
I love interior design. One of my hobbies is peeking into people’s homes from the sidewalk. If it’s dark outside and your drapes are open, you can count on me to analyze your interior design choices. Don’t worry, I don’t take pics. Your interiors are for my eyes only. I’m curious about the colour of your walls, what shape of tile you chose for your kitchen backsplash, whether or not you decided curtain and sofa fabric should match. Are you a leather person? Do you hang pictures of your kids on your walls? Who are you???? I want to know.
I wonder if Kevin’s parents hired an interior designer. Too bad their choice of wallpaper screams “We are overwhelmed.”
The Santa Clause (1994)
This is such a great family movie. I was seven when The Santa Clause came out. The one-liners are hilarious. I’ve always appreciated Tim Allen’s character, Scott Calvin, but my adult perspective appreciates his humour even more.
Example: When Scott and his son Charlie finish delivering gifts to children around the world in (deceased) Santa’s place, Scott decides to embrace the craziness of the moment and yells:
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! And when I wake up, I'm gettin' a CAT scan!”
I also love the scene back at the North Pole where Bernard, the head elf, calls Scott “Santa.” He’s also implying that Scott is responsible for old Santa’s disappearance. That’s when Scott gets flustered and responds with:
“Wait a minute! Hey… I know where this is going. It wasn’t my fault. The other guy fell. It was an accident. I’ve got homeowner’s insurance and a good attorney. Well, not as good as my wife’s, but let’s not open up that wound.” Tim Allen’s delivery cracks me up.
Th object of my obsession, however, is when Judy, a 1,200-year-old elf with special hot cocoa-making skills, gives Scott a pair of red silk pyjamas with his initials embroidered on the chest pocket.
You know when people say “when I buy that luxury car, then I’ll know I’ve made it”? I’ll know I’ve made it when I can treat myself to a pair of pjs with my initials embroidered in gold. Been wishing for this since I was seven. Never give up on your dreams.
I’d love for you to share your favourite Christmas movie in the comments, and why! Bonus points if you link it to an obsession. I can’t wait to hear from you!
I googled Why does everyone hate Nicolas Cage and this is the first thing that popped up: “Cage squandered much of his fortune on frivolous things like mansions, castles, private islands, luxury yachts, exotic pets and rare artifacts.” (From quora.com)
I don’t know why people hate him for this? Apparently his new movie Dream Scenario (2023) is excellent and is Cage’s best performance yet. Critics say this dark comedy about a man who becomes viral on the internet by appearing in people’s dreams could be viewed as a nod to Cage’s experience with meme culture.
Your "Silk Pyjamas and Turbans 2.0" made me laugh Michelle! I'm so glad you have a second year of the same obsession. I love Christmas movies too!
Once again, I'm in sink with what you write. I watched the second hour of "National Lampoon" last night and have discovered earlier today that that movie was your first pick in your 2023 newsletter! It wasn't my first time watching it or part of it either! I couldn't help it. I was anticipating the scene where the snobbish yuppy played by "Elaine" (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and her partner are sitting in the living room and the tree crashes into the window! I love how both worlds collide into a Christmas spectacular!
Before "National Lampoon", I had started watching "Hachi" on another channel. I wanted to see Hachi as a puppy again. My intention was to watch Hachi grow into a mature dog AND Richard Gere before tragedy struck in the movie. (I won't go into details in case you haven't seen the movie yet.) That is when I switched channels to "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation". I'm not quite sure why Hachi is aired in December or at Christmastime...?? Perhaps because it is about love and loyalty? Hachi was inspired by the true story of an Akita, Hachiko, who lived in Tokyo in the early 1900s and who was completely devoted to his master. I won't say any more!
As you know Michelle, my favourite Christmas movie is David Lean's "Doctor Zhivago". It is not quite a Christmas movie; however, as soon as the weather gets cold and it starts to snow, I feel like watching it. I have a CD of the movie intended for a DVD player and I've also recorded it "in" my TV. "Doctor Zhivago" i.e. the original l965 movie and not the 2002 remake that is actually a British TV series, has to be one of my favourite obsessions! Is this redundant?--"favourite" obsessions?!
Again, this year, I've been binge watching Hallmark Christmas movies that start in November. They are not my favourite Christmas movies but I like to indulge myself with those! There is something comforting, albeit corny about watching beautiful homes decorated for the Christmas season (fake snow and all), seeing beautiful interior sets, hearing Christmas carols and yes, even watching cardboard characters play their predictable destinies in their lovely velvet gowns and woolies for two hours.
Have you ever seen "The Christmas Choir" (2008) Michelle? The storyline is moving and, since it is based on a true story, it makes it even more so. Jason Gedrick, who plays the main character, is almost as gorgeous as Omar Shariff!
"The Family Stone", "Holiday Inn" and other Bing Crosby movies and "The Holiday" are other favourites. I'm sure that I'll think of more after I have posted my comment...
Ah oui ! I love animated movies like "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer", "Frosty the Snowman", "A Charlie Brown Christmas"--all from the sixties and the eighties' "The Snowman".
I still haven't seen the "Home Alone" movies or "The Santa Clause". Perhaps this year?
Happy Christmas dear Michelle. Thank you so much for another wonderful year of Obsessed. Joyeux Noël à tous !
brigitte