When An Obsession Fades Away
How Idris Elba almost prevented me from making meaningful connections at a bookstore
One can spend a lot of time and energy tending to an obsession.
Maybe you spend your waking hours analyzing your ex’s online behaviour. “He won’t watch my Stories on purpose because he doesn’t want me to know he’s still into me,” you might declare after spending 24 hours cross-referencing the accounts who’ve seen your Stories with your ex’s online presence. “I know he’s been on IG because he liked his cousin’s vacation pictures.” Maybe you wash your hands over and over again even though they’re clean and you haven’t handled raw meat since 2013. Or maybe you spend months working on a novel manuscript about a stay-at-home mother who joins a clean beauty MLM in the hopes of living an Instaworthy life. It’s all you can think and talk about, and you feel yourself drifting away from real life, because you’re busy living on another planet that only exists in your mind.
Some of my obsessions have included the examples mentioned above. I’ll let you guess which ones.
I’m not interested in judging obsessions in terms of “goodness” or “badness.” We all have them at some point. How much real estate an obsession occupies in your mind is between you and you, and in some cases your doctor or therapist. What fascinates me is understanding how obsessions influence our lives and sense of self.
Some obsessions have been with us since childhood, or develop after a life-changing event. Some obsessions help us achieve goals or help us cope with life, like a smelly-yet-reassuring blankie that reminds us we’re safe. But what happens when an obsession fades away? Who are you without this obsession? Are you lost? Or have you been found? One thing’s for sure, you’ve freed up some prime real estate in your mind. Not to mention time, of course.
I’ve been thinking about fading obsessions because I’m experiencing one right now.
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