EXCLUSIVE! The interview I never thought I'd score
On corvid life, fame and peanuts
Readers, I’m beyond excited to share today’s newsletter with you. This is a career highlight. A turning point. One of those “pinch me” moments people talk about. I should probably update my LinkedIn profile and my personal website after posting this.
I first met my interview guest several months ago at Brompton Cemetery in London. I immediately felt a connection with this fascinating individual, the kind of bond you can’t explain. You know how you meet someone and feel like you’ve known them forever? That’s what it was like. Anyways, enough fangirling. I hope you enjoy our conversation.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity and length.
Michelle Béland: I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.
Graveyard Crow: Thank you for having me.
MB: So before we dive in, can you introduce yourself?
GC: Sure. I’m a crow and I live with my murder here, in Brompton Cemetery.
MB: Love, love, love Brompton Cemetery. Can you tell me what you like about your home?
GC: It’s a beautiful place with many trees. And I like hanging out with the spirits of famous figures.
MB: That sounds fun. Like who?
GC: Dr John Snow, the inventor of anesthesia.
MB: Oh! Yay him! I’ve been anaesthetized before. Neck surgery… but that’s not the point of today’s conversation. Who else?
GC: Emmeline Pankhurst, the suffragette leader. She’s the life of the party. There’s also a lot of military men, but they mostly keep to themselves. I enjoy spending time with Walter Brandon Thomas—he’s hilarious.
MB: I’m not familiar with Walter Brandon Thomas.
GC: He was a famous actor and playwright back in the late 1800s. He wrote the farce Charley’s Aunt, which was a record-breaking hit in London at the time. But nobody remembers him today.
MB: That’s so sad. It’s crazy how you can be known for this hugely successful play and be forgotten by future generations.
GC: Fame doesn’t matter. It isn’t real.
MB: Could you expand on that?
GC: It’s an illusion. I’ve been observing human behaviour for a while, and I noticed they assign a lot of value to this concept of being known. They’re always coming to the cemetery and posting idiocies on #CrowTok.
MB: Oops.
GC: You can be famous one minute and get cancelled the next. Or you can create this work of art and be known for it, and even make a lot of money from it, but the notoriety doesn’t last forever. What matters is the connection to self you feel while making the art.
If people connect to your art, wonderful. Audiences loved Charley’s Aunt. They couldn’t get enough, it brought them a lot of joy. But times change, people change, and there will always be something shiny and new that will be more interesting. People move on. I know that because it happens to me as well. Just when I think a paperclip fulfills me, I come across fifty pence and think, whoa, where have you been all my life?
MB: So true. Are you an artist?
GC: No.
MB: Do you have a favourite artist?
GC: Of course. Hitchcock.
MB: Hitchcock is amazing.
GC: He lived in this neighbourhood too. He used to walk around here all the time.
MB: Oh my god! That’s right. What’s he like?
GC: I don’t know. He’s dead.
MB: Right. Have you ever encountered his spirit?
GC: No. His ashes were scattered over the Pacific Ocean, so he’s not tethered to this cemetery. I reckon he hangs out with Grace Kelly’s ghost in Monaco.
MB: What brings you joy?
GC: Food.
MB: What’s your favourite food?
GC: Chicken and peanuts.
MB: Chicken and peanuts? I thought crows ate insects and stuff.
GC: West London crows have more refined palates.
MB: But how do you access chicken? From someone’s garden? Are urban chicken coops a thing in London?
GC: I’m not aware of any borough-specific initiatives. I don’t fancy getting my claws dirty anyways. A man feeds us sliced chicken breast and peanuts every day. Always stops by the cemetery with a tupperware before heading to work.
MB: Do you feel that affects your ability to source food yourself?
GC: Not really.
MB: Do you have an obsession?
GC: No.
MB: No? Something you think about a lot, can’t live without, or just feel really passionate about? You mentioned fifty pence coins…
GC: I like to collect them but they’re not really an obsession. Just a hobby.
MB: Oh. Didn’t your agent tell you this was an Obsessed Interview? We’re supposed to explore one of your obsessions and figure out what it means.
GC: Miss, I’m a crow. I don’t get obsessive like humans do.
MB: Alright. Thank you so much for chatting with me. I’m really grateful for your time.
GC: No worries. Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s chicken and peanuts time.
Obsessions of the week
I made a short film with absolutely no plot, structure or arcs. It’s called The Crows. In other words, I made an Instagram Reel to demonstrate my devotion to the corvids of Brompton Cemetery. Call me Hitchcock!
I made a short film with absolutely no plot or structure, but I feel there might be compelling characters in this one. It’s called The Seagulls of Brighton. In other words, I made an Instagram Reel after visiting seaside Brighton and noticing a serious lack of morals in the local seagulls.
Birds and Buffy.
See you next week!
Thank you for the great interview and the short films Michelle! I'm sure that Graveyard Crow enjoyed himself/herself? as well! (For some reason, I felt that GC was a male.) I think that GC is being a tad aloof i.e. feigning not to have an actual obsession. Crows are too smart NOT to have obsessions--or rather, too smart to let on that they DO have an actual obsession! I also think that GC was actually turning the interview around whereby you were revealing a lot about yourself through your questions Michelle. I love the "Bench in the Graveyard Portrait" with your feathered friends. Merci bien !
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