The only food I post on the internet is poutine. I don’t post my ice cream cones. I don’t post my funky salads. I don’t post my outrageous Bloody Caesars with decorative fried pickles on top. I enjoy browsing through my friend’s meals on Instagram, but sharing my food choices isn’t something I think about when I’m eating. Except, of course, for you-know-what.
I post my poutines because they’re sacred. They’re sacred to a lot of people I know. You’d think something sacred should be kept private, but not in this case. Posting a poutine is like sending out a Bat-Signal. Instead of summoning a superhero, you’re summoning fellow Quebecers.
The other day, my husband and I were watching an episode of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds when we were delightfully surprised to see the action take place in Toronto. Not Toronto disguised as New York or some big American city, but Toronto as itself, Canada’s largest city. The episode I’m referring to is called Tomorrow, Tomorrow and Tomorrow (season 2, episode 3). Long story short, the U.S.S. Enterprises’ security officer, La’an Noonien-Singh, finds herself in an alternate reality, mid-21st Century Toronto, to prevent an attack (and thus change the timeline) with an alternate-reality Captain Kirk.
The characters first stumble upon Dundas Square, news about a Lake Ontario bridge flashing behind them on a jumbo screen when a confused Kirk says:
ALTERNATE-REALITY CAPTAIN KIRK
Seems to be New York City. Mid-twenty-first Century.
LA’AN
What?
ALTERNATE-REALITY CAPTAIN KIRK
What?
LA’AN
It's Toronto. The biggest city in what used to be called Canada? You know, maple leaves, politeness, poutine. I take it you've never been.
ALTERNATE-REALITY CAPTAIN KIRK
I’ve never been to Earth at all.
I love Star Trek. I love that an episode of a popular TV show takes place in Canada. Yes, there’s a maple leaf on our flag. Yes, we’re polite. If there’s one thing that bothers me, however, is how poutine is automatically referenced as a Canadian thing. I felt a surge of possessiveness and protectiveness when La’an mentioned the sacred word. If the episode had taken place in Montreal, it would have been fine, fantastic even. Sure, you can find poutine in Toronto. You can find poutine in Vancouver. You can find poutine in Winnipeg. Apparently you can find poutine in LA too. But it’s not the same.
What is poutine? I’ll never say it’s a delicacy, because there’s nothing delicate about it. It’s a national treasure. A dish that looks unappealing, and quite honestly on the verge of disgusting. Poutine was created in Québec in the fifties, in Victoriaville or Warwick (there are competing claims). Not everyone living in Québec likes poutine, but everyone can agree that poutine is a symbol of our culture and an essential part of our identity. Quebecers will travel far and wide to find its best versions.
A good poutine can be found in a shack on the side of the road somewhere in rural Québec. If you can’t make it to the country, then you must find a place in the city that preserves and respects the authenticity of such a beloved dish. It contains three elements: fries, gravy and cheese curds.
Here’s what you should be looking for:
Fries
The fries should be dark brown and greasy. They should taste sweet. Ideally you want small-shack-on-the-side-of-the-road-type of fries. Nothing that remotely resembles a McDonald’s fry. A bad fry means a ruined poutine.
Gravy
There are various approaches when it comes to gravy. Some people prefer a BBQ-flavoured gravy, and some gravitate towards a classic, peppery kind. A well-balanced gravy is all you need.
Cheese curds
Cheese curds are a crucial ingredient. No cheese curds? Not a poutine. Cheese curds should be fresh and white. They should have a rubbery texture. They should squeak when you are chewing them. I once had poutine in the middle of nowhere in Ontario and I was appalled that the restaurant used SHREDDED cheddar instead of cheese curds. First and last time I ever had poutine outside of my province. The more curds, the better.
Who made me the authority on poutine? I did. I have more than three decades experience as a Quebecer, and I have tasted PLENTY of poutines. I know what I’m talking about.
Speaking of poutine and my rant about Québecois identity, I have an announcement. I’m going to be taking a break from the newsletter for the next few weeks because my family and I are moving overseas to London, UK for a couple of years. I’ll spare you the details, but overall we have three weeks to pack up our shit and move to London, find a place to live, get our son settled into school, etc. SO it’s going to be an intense period and I need to focus on that. I’m excited about this new adventure (and bracing for a couple of panic attacks maybe?), which I hope will generate new obsessions to unpack here. I’ll be pausing paid subscriptions during my hiatus, which means paying subscribers will not be billed during this time. Thank you so much for being such loyal readers, your readership and support mean the world to me.
While I go quiet here, you can find me posting pictures of poutine on Instagram. I won’t be posting pics of me freaking out about the move, but you can count on me to post touristy pictures of me pretending to lean on Big Ben. I’d love to connect with you there!
See you next time.
Michelle
Michelle, I completely agree with you that poutine is Québécois and not Canadian! I am all French Canadian, Franco-Ontarian and now Québécoise and I get very annoyed when Canadians claim that they are known for their poutine, maple syrup, beaver tails and beer, maybe?!! Perhaps that it is people outside of Canada who think that?!
As far as identity goes, poutine is like a contemporary version of tarte au sucre (sugar pie?!) and sucre à la crème ("fudge" doesn't even compare to "sucre à la crème" !). I am saying that as a Franco-Ontarian, French Canadian and Québécoise who has NEVER tasted poutine in her life!!
I don't think that I would have what it takes to eat it, even though I come from a small town in Northern Ontario that is notorious for its chip stands as you go through it on Hwy 17. I like both chips or French fries and fresh, rubbery curds! I guess that I'm simply not a gravy girl!!! In fact, it is only recently that I have started to eat turkey with gravy. I don't mind dry white or dark poultry meat with or without cranberry sauce. (When ordering sweet potato fries from "Hubby's"--how St. Hubert is called in English Ontario!, I always ask to hold the gravy.)
Now, even though I have never tried poutine, I had the same "gut" reaction as yours Michelle, as I was watching HGTV's reality show "Hometown" with Ben and Erin Napier. Hometown takes place in the deep south i.e. in Laurel, Mississippi. I am referring to an episode when a Canadian couple moves to Laurel. This is not alternate reality or fiction like Star Trek!
The Canadian couple had been living in Vancouver for many years. The husband was originally from B.C. and the wife from California. Any way, beyond relocating, house purchasing and renovating, that whole episode was about Canadian vs. American symbols. There was even an explanation of "Canadian" poutine showing up at the bottom of the screen at one point during that episode! I talked back at the TV and said that that was not Canadian but Québécois!!! I felt like writing to the producers of the show to set them straight, along with all of the watchers! Eh bien !
Thank you Michelle, for a Poutine Farewell. Give back to Caesar what is Caesar's! (It's funny that a certain Russian dictator should have the same name with the same spelling! OK, je délire ici !)
Good luck with the big move across the pond and hopefully, all of your M & S special culinary treats will make up for a lack of poutine?! Je l'espère bien !
I am looking forward to your next newsletters with a "London Calling" twist in post-punk UK!