5 Things I've learned about writing a newsletter

Celebrating 2 YEARS of OBSESSED!

OBSESSED: A Newsletter is 2 years old! Illustration by Montreal artist La Pimbêche.

A little over two years ago, I was probably in my apartment in Montreal, because let’s face it, I’m always home. I was most likely in the shower performing my second hair wash when I got the idea of starting a newsletter to explore the many obsessions that take over my existence for hours or years at a time.

I had recently shelved a memoir manuscript that I’d desperately tried to get representation for, and when that didn’t work, tried to sell directly to small presses after a revamp and many hours of working with a book coach. The book didn’t want to be sold. That was a problem, because I wanted my words OUT THERE. Up until then, I had published a handful of sporadic essays about motherhood and dealing with a life-threatening illness in my mid-twenties. Oh, and there was also an embarrassing essay about surviving Valentine’s Day in Huffpost Canada, but thankfully for me the site has shut down, burying my cringy musings in a digital graveyard I hope no one ever discovers.

I’m glad the memoir didn’t get published. I now realize some things are meant to be private, and I’m glad I worked through some personal issues by writing 60,000 words about it. The book also taught me about the writing process and committing to a writing practice.

I pulled the plug on the project but the need to share my writing was still very much present, as well as continue a regular writing practice. I didn’t want to work in isolation for years anymore. I wanted to connect with people, not wait until industry gatekeepers gave me permission to.

And that’s how OBSESSED: A Newsletter was born. I contacted my visual artist friend, La Pimbêche, who helped me create a visual identity for the newsletter with her wonderful illustrations. Then off I went with my keyboard, analyzing obsessions and what they taught me about life.

I’ve learned a thing or two about writing a newsletter over the past two years. So I will share these lessons with you. Please be advised: these aren’t tips on writing a successful newsletter. I have no clue what it takes to have a hit newsletter or how to gain more subscribers. These are lessons about the act of writing a newsletter.

Before I head into the 5 things I’ve learned about writing a newsletter, I’d like to take the opportunity to thank you, the reader. Thank you for opening this email every week. Thank you for your comments. Thank you for still being here after two years. Thank you for supporting my work with your hard-earned dollars. I love connecting with you and I’m so grateful you care enough to take time out of your busy life to read my essays. I never ever take it for granted.

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5 Things I’ve learned about writing a newsletter

1. Once the piece is out, it’s no longer yours

   It’s still yours as in you wrote it and it’s your intellectual property, but it’s no longer yours in the sense that you have no control over what happens to your essay and how readers will perceive it. Sometimes you’ll work really hard on a essay and be super proud of it, and there will be crickets. No comments. No likes. No shares or new subscribers. You can’t write a newsletter for likes or validation.

   Just because people don’t give you a digital thumbs up, it doesn’t mean your piece didn’t make them smile, laugh, or touch them in some way. How many times have you read a book or an article, loved it, then contacted the author directly to tell them how much you enjoyed their work? My guess is never. All this to say, once you publish an essay, it’s none of your concern how a reader will experience and react to it. If they do reach out to tell you they liked it, that’s amazing and it feels good. If they don’t, it shouldn’t influence the way you show up to do the work.

2. Taking breaks are essential

   I committed to writing a weekly essay, and I keep my commitment most of the time. But life is busy. Your roof starts leaking, your kid gets sick, your TSH levels are out of whack, it was a full moon and you had nighttime anxiety three nights in a row… For whatever reason, you get run down and when you’re tired, your creativity takes a hit. Writing is a muscle, and yes, it gets easier when you do it more often. But sometimes it isn’t about churning out an essay for the sake of keeping a weekly commitment nobody asked you to take.

   I believe in taking breaks. I believe in rest. Sometimes you have to step away from the work and recharge your batteries. Taking care of yourself, whether that’s through rest, movement, quality time with loved ones, new experiences, reading a good book or all of the above, is crucial to keeping creativity flowing. Nobody contacts me to demand a weekly essay when I take breaks. Do you know why? Because everybody receives too many emails already and they’re busy signing their kids up for summer camp.

3. Evolution is inevitable

   The concept of this newsletter is to explore obsessions and what they teach us about ourselves through essays and interviews. I stuck to it in general (I think?), but there’s only so many obsessions I can personally write about on a regular basis. Sometimes I have to wait for a new obsession to pop up! I love doing interviews and chatting with guests about their obsessions, but I haven’t been able to stick to my goal of publishing one interview a month. I still intend to publish interviews because I really enjoy them, I just have to get better at scheduling them.

   If you’ve been a longtime reader, you’ll also notice that I sometimes write about whatever I’m experiencing at the moment. Sometimes I publish poetry. Sometimes I publish mini scenes. Sometimes I’ll experiment with form and write lists, or snippets of dialogue, streams of consciousness… Writing consistently every week isn’t easy (but I love it!). I can’t believe I’ve been publishing a newsletter for two years already. This has been made possible because a) I take breaks to avoid burning out and b) I allow myself to explore and try new things in this space. It helps keep things interesting for me, and hopefully, for you too.

4. Sleep on it

   Remember the saying ‘write drunk, edit sober?’ Was that Hemingway who said that? I never write drunk because I never get drunk. But the expression rings true in the sense that you need to give your essay time to breathe. Even if it’s only 24 hours. Sometimes I’ll write something and think I’m the shit, then edit that “genius” writing out the next day because it didn’t sound right or wasn’t relevant to the piece.

5. Always write for yourself first

   If your writing makes you laugh, it’s funny. If your writing moves you, it’s moving. In one of the best albums of all time, MTV Unplugged 2.0, Lauryn Hill says during an interlude: “every single one of these songs is about me first. Me first.” As someone who writes mostly personal narrative, writing about “me first” comes naturally. But there’s also a nuance here: I don’t write with an audience in mind. I don’t write something because I think others will find it funny or entertaining or endearing… If I do that, and whenever I’ve done that, I’ve betrayed myself and my authenticity. I write for myself first and foremost, and that’s enough. I hope readers will connect to my work somehow, but like I mentioned above, how and if they connect to it isn’t up to me.

So that’s what I’ve learned, folks! If you’ve been thinking of starting a newsletter or exploring a new interest, I hope you do. Art and writing belongs to everyone. There’s only one you. There’s only your perspective. Your art matters. It’s okay to want to share it and connect with people. It’s more than okay, it’s great.

Thanks again for reading OBSESSED: A Newsletter and I’ll see you next week.