4 Things I'm Thinking About
An unexpected marriage essay and round-up of mini obsessions, from music by Arlo Parks to a podcast on witches.
Do you like Halloween? I do. My husband does not. He says he doesn’t like the glorification of death and all the darkness associated with Halloween. On a video call with his parents last week, we asked his mother whether he’d always felt this way, even as a kid.
“Yes,” she nodded. “He always came back from trick-or-treating in a foul mood.”
What can I say? I married a sunshine boy. His heart is filled with light. His beautiful warm light shines bright even in the darkest of times. May he always shine bright like the massive Taylor-Burton diamond that he is.
Sometimes I wonder what my last words on my death bed will be, and I often imagine my husband holding my frail, very old hand while I mutter “It’s been an honour to live life with you.” I go first in this scenario because I need to be the center of attention/the star of every scene (that’s my Leo moon).
One of my biggest fears about married life is to take my partner for granted. I never ever want that to happen. That’s why every day I take a moment to remind myself how special and important my husband is and how grateful I am to be on this “journey called life” with him. My fear of indifference allows me to show up in this relationship with a sense of urgency, a need to protect it at all costs. So of course I would totally say something like “it’s been an honour” as my last words. It’s an honour today, on this forgettable and grey Thursday afternoon, and it will be an honour when I’m extremely old and hopefully will have at least published a book.
I’m not sure how a couple of sentences about my Halloween-hating husband became a marriage essay by a murky woman who fantasizes about her death bed, so let me get back to Halloween. My husband is right: Halloween is associated with death and darkness. I love it! I love Halloween pop culture: movies, costumes, pumpkins, witches, trick-or-treating and all. It’s a passion I’ve transmitted to my 8yo, who has spent the last few days listening to “This Is Halloween” on repeat while decorating our flat with fake spiderwebs we found at M&S.
The origins of Halloween can be traced back to Samhain, an ancient Celtic pagan tradition that marked the end of both summer and the harvest season. The darkest time of the year is upon us. It’s a time when nature slows down, although capitalism would have us believe we should speed things up, especially in Q4.
I like the idea of slowing down, but it’s not easy. I don’t mind the darkness either. That’s what candles are for. One of life’s greatest pleasures is to curl up in bed with a beautiful beeswax candle and a celebrity memoir. Right?
Speaking of celebrity memoirs… It’s time for me to share a round-up of mini Halloween/October-inspired obsessions. Things I’ve been reading, listening to, watching this past month.
Podcast: Witch
This is a 13-episode podcast on BBC Sounds that you can easily find on Spotify. Hosted by India Rakusen, Witch explores the history and the meaning of the word “witch.” Spoiler alert: there are many definitions of witch. It’s been enlightening to learn about the witch hunts and witch trials in the UK, the connection between witches and the natural world, the witch in folklore and pop culture, the impact that magic and rituals have on people’s lives… It also explores the commodification of witchcraft, which was fascinating. The episodes are a fun little treat, especially since they’re only 30 minutes long.
Music: Arlo Parks
There’s nothing witchy about Arlo Parks, or maybe there is, if you consider using your creativity and talent to create art as magic. I was listening to my Spotify’s Daily Mix suggestion at Brompton Cemetery (surprise surprise ⚰️) a couple of weeks ago when a song came on that stopped me in my tracks. It was “Eugene” by Arlo Parks. What a beautiful voice. The song came out three years ago so I’ll just pretend I’m fashionably late. A while back I saw a meme that said something like “My preferred way to listen to a song is on repeat a thousand times and then never again,” and this song has been a repeat for a while now. I hope I don’t get tired of it. I’ve been listening to Parks’ “Collapsed in Sunbeams”(2021) album too and it’s very good. I love her storytelling. If you listen to “Caroline,” you’ll know what I mean.
TV: The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018-2020)
I can’t find Practical Magic on any of the streaming platforms here in the UK, and I’ve been needing my witch fix. That’s why I’ve been rewatching Netflix’s The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, which is a darker version of the nineties’ Sabrina The Teenage Witch sitcom. It’s scarier than I remembered, but I guess it’s okay since I recently discovered that I’m into gothic and horror stuff anyways. I have to be careful though, because the other night I watched two episodes before bed and had nightmares. Oops!
Books: Not Britney’s memoir
I love love love celebrity memoirs. Love them! This week’s most-talked about book is Britney Spears’ memoir, The Woman In Me. I love Britney and think Blackout is one of the best pop albums of all time, but I don’t feel like reading her memoir. Isn’t that strange? I realized something, though. The “celebrity” memoirs that I’ve read all have a common denominator… Born with Teeth by Kate Mulgrew, Making a Scene by Constance Wu, Managing Expectations by Minnie Diver, Inside Out by Demi Moore and my current read, Making It So by Patrick Stewart… they’re all actors. So instead of proclaiming my love of celebrity memoirs, I should say actor memoirs.
There you have it, folks. What have you been listening to, reading or watching? Let me know in the comments.
Ah...You brought tears to my eyes pumpkin! You write so wonderfully well and I'm sure that you'll be publishing a book very soon. I was thinking about this yesterday and I thought maybe London is a good place to visit publishers.
We saw yesterday " Genious", a movie about a writer and his publisher. If you have the chance, check it out. Good luck and have a wonderful Halloween! Your husband did not like Halloween very much, but he loooved the treaaaats. Lol 🧡🧡