I’m thirty-six years old and I’ve spent my thirties striving to become a better version of myself. I’ve been to therapy. I’ve meditated. I’ve journaled. I’ve spent money on workshops to rid myself of “limiting beliefs” and other alleged issues I’m too embarrassed to mention. I’ve waxed my upper lip because my idea of “new and improved” is hairless.
I’ve invested precious resources into constant self-improvement only to realize my issues haven’t gone anywhere. I’m a people pleaser with a good girl complex. I’m hard on myself. I’m an anxious mess. I’ve come to the conclusion that those things will never disappear. So I’ve reframed my capitalistic quest for self-improvement into a simple quest for self-awareness. It doesn’t matter how many podcasts I listen to, or how disciplined my journalling practice is. Some things will never change. I am the sum of all my parts. Some parts are amazing. And some parts cause pain, discomfort and emotional spirals.
Self-acceptance is powerful. It’s liberating to accept the things you cannot change about yourself. Or the things you’re no longer interested in changing or improving. Do you know what I’m not interested in changing? All the things I don’t like.
A list of things I don’t like and will continue not liking
Waiting in line for brunch
Juice
Eating dinner past 6 PM
Unloading the dishwasher
Listening to music through cellphone speakers
“Good Riddance” by Green Day
“Last Christmas” by WHAM!
Clicking on links people send me
Croissants from a plastic container
The word “content”
The word “trendy”
Going to bed late
Being told I should have another kid
The unknown
Folding clothes
Feeling desperate
Confrontation
Pants that pinch your stomach
Bras in general
Being licked (by dogs)
Dog slobber
Board games (except SORRY! and GUESS WHO?)
My cholesterol levels
The attention economy
Raisin bran
Raisins
Living in the present
Small talk
Watching sports on TV
Not knowing what to watch on TV
Germs
Two pieces of fabric rubbing against each other
Figuring out what to make for dinner every night
Cooking every night
Grocery lists
Not waxing my upper lip
That felt good.
Let’s have fun! Tell me what you don’t like and will continue not liking in the comments. Let’s aim for 3-5 things.
Putting on clothes when my skin is still wet, staying out past 9pm, people who say ‘oh we MUST do lunch’, but don’t really mean it, cats, and cat hair, waterloo station and drunk people 🙂
-Clothing that isn't soft or that's made out of synthetic fibers (like polyester).
-Noise that is loud (including drunk people: they always seem to need to speak even louder than they usually would) or that is repetitive (like a clock).
-Socks.
-Waiting in line whether it be in person, on the phone or in a car in traffic.
-Strong smells (even if it's a lovely smell).